While some children in this age range may know about substances, most of them will not. Think of these conversations as building blocks; each will build onto the next so that by the end of adolescence, your youth will have a full understanding of substance misuse.

The best way to frame this conversation is through health. We want our children's bodies and minds to stay healthy and the best way to do that is to make sure kids are aware of what is going into their bodies, including potential substances. 

It’s the same sort of conversation we have about nutrition. It’s important to know what harmful substances may go into our body, and always make sure to check with a parent before eating or drinking something. 

Tips:

• Frame substances as “Adult” (i.e. This is daddy’s adult juice)
• Engage in substances away from children when possible
• Store substances away from children. Lock up your alcohol or keep it in a secure part of your refrigerator
• Practice safe celebrations. If substances and kids are present at a party, have two containers for “children” drinks and “adult” drinks
• Teach children to read the labels on products and know what could be bad for them
• If your child wants to get candy at the store, check to make sure it is appropriate for them. There has been an increase in cannabis products that are made to resemble candy

Let your child approach the subject with curiosity. Answer their questions the best you can.

As youth move through elementary school, they become exposed to many substances either through class, on the bus, or by parents, older siblings, and friends. This may not be true for all 4th and 5th graders but usually, by the beginning of middle school, all of them have a base knowledge on substance abuse.

Vaping is the most prevalent problem within this age range. While they may not vape themselves, they are constantly exposed to it through TV shows, movies, and social media. Further, they may also see people vaping in real life or smoke shops on roads near their schools or houses. 

The best way to frame this next conversation about substances is by meeting them where they are. Begin by asking what your child knows about substances, what they’ve heard and seen. Using that knowledge, you can build upon their knowledge. 

Tips:

• Start with a question. Have you heard of people vaping? Do you know what’s in a vape?
• Remember that a vape is a tool, not a substance. Vapes generally contain nicotine or cannabis.
• Discuss the harms. Remember that using substances before the brain is fully developed at age 25 can cause irreparable damages.  
• Talk about addiction. It can seem like a taboo topic but every person should understand how easy it is to become addicted to a substance, especially when sustained substance use is often associated with poor mental health.

For middle schoolers, you can discuss substances a little bit more in depth. You can begin to introduce scientific concepts like the prefrontal cortex which aids in decision making. That is the part of the brain that doesn’t fully develop until 25, which is why teenagers are often seen as impulsive. And, why making decisions while impaired is not a good idea.

You also can bring in marketing. We find that marketing is the most enjoyable topic of substance use prevention for middle schoolers. In recent years, products have been marketed towards youth through sweet flavors, advertisements on social media, and copy-cat products (such as Stoney Patch Kids).

Finally, it is important for your kid to find their Why. Why should they wait to engage in substances? This can be a multitude of reasons. They play sports and want to keep their body healthy. They don’t want to use substances before their brain fully develops. They don’t want to feel “out of control.” Whatever their Why is, it is important for youth to know theirs. 

Tips:

• Ask questions. What have they seen? What do they know?
• Discuss why substance use companies want to market their products towards adolescents. With what strategies do they do this?
• Talk about the normalization of substances through media, whether that be Instagram, Snapchat, TV, or movies. What is your kid watching? What messages about substance use are they employing?
• Help your child find out their Why. 
• Practice saying “No” with them, using their Why as evidence. An example could be: “I don’t want to vape because I’m a runner and it can affect my lungs.”

High schoolers have likely seen, heard about, and maybe even tried some of these substances. It is important to come to these conversations with understanding and care, and not assuming anything about what your child has or hasn’t done. They are already going to know the basics. However, it’s important to reiterate a few things. Firstly, that the brain is not fully developed until 25 which can affect decision-making, especially while impaired. 

If your high schooler is going to engage in these substances, they should do so safely. They should never drive while intoxicated. They should either plan to have a designated driver or a similar safety protocol. They should call you if at any point they need a ride or feel unsafe. The reason it is so important to have these conversations during adolescence is partly to prepare them for adulthood, college, or leaving the nest. As your child moves into adulthood, access to substances becomes easier, binge-using becomes normalized, and often emerging adults will not have parents close by. 

Tips:

• Ask your child about their experience without any assumptions or judgement.
• Realistically discuss the harms of misusing substances, including long and short-term consequences.
• Create a safety plan. This can include how to get home from a party where there are substances, what your child should do if they take something, etc. 
• It’s hard to say no. Practice with your child with different scenarios, excuses, and statements. 
• Educate your child about Good Samaritan laws so that if something happens to someone they know, they do not hesitate to call 9-1-1